Okay, so this topic is one that usually instigates a never ending debate, but it is definately one that has popped up quite a few times this year: ABORTION.
Someone close to me has agreed to share her experience...
9 September 2014. It was a Tuesday morning that I'll never forget. I opted to go to a government clinic, as I couldn't afford to pay for an abortion at a private clinic. I arrived at 7am, but the were already long queues stretching out into the corridors of the hospital. Sick people, crying babies, people sleeping on chairs, some seemed as though they had been waiting for an eternity. I felt sick just looking at them. I proceeded to the wards, following the hand drawn arrows someone had stuck up on the walls. "Family planning", "Termination of pregnancy."
I starred at the signs for a bit, criticizing myself for not having been on contraception. I could have avoided all of this. The chatter from the nurses walking up from behind me interrupted my thoughts. I picked up my pace, and went round another corner. These corridors were quiet. A few more metres and I turned right into a crowded room. There were two nurses seated at an old wooden table.Facing the girls, they called out names at regular intervals, for them to sit in the order they were allocated. I was no stranger to this. I had been here the day before...
A week ago. I had come to make an appointment for an abortion. I then had to pee on a pregnancy test that looked more like a random two-toned piece of metal. It confirmed there was life in my womb. We then lined up and had an ultrasound done. I lowered my pants, lifted my top, and awkwardly got onto the hard, weathered bed. I wondered how many girls had been there before me. The tingle of the cold jelly-like substance alerted me as the nurse smeared it onto my belly. She asked me a few questions. She wasn't friendly. She said she couldn't find the baby. For a moment I thought the nightmare had ended, and that I wasn't pregnant at all. Then she told me it was normal, and that I had to wait a week, then come back.
In no time... a week had gone by. I returned to the wretched place. Same procedure. This time the damn thing was visible. I was 6 weeks along. I was then told to go to another waiting room down the corridor. There were 6 girls there. They chatted quietly amongst themselves, about the abortion procedure. I sat down on old leather arm chair. The girl closest to me asked me how far along I was. "6 weeks. You?", "10!" Before I could respond, the mean nurse marched in. "Ladies, I need you to fill out these consent forms. In simple terms, the clinic doesn't take liability for complications or unforeseen circumstances during the termination. It is also confirmation that you have independently decided to go through with the termination, and no one has forced you into it." I signed the document, and let the girl next to me, sign as a witness.
Miss Nurse collected the forms. Then handed out tablets in silver packets. "You all need to be here tomorrow, by 7am sharp. Make sure you wake up and take these tablets at 4am. Set your alarm if you have to. After you take the pill, make sure you put on a sanitary pad. Do not use tampons. Then, please bring a morning gown, or a loose dress to change into before the procedure, a packed lunch, extra sanitary pads, and toiletries if you wish to shower." I made a mental list of everything she said. Then took my phone out to set the 4am alarm. She dismissed us...
* * * * * *
I really could've avoided all this. I was the second one to arrive. I greeted the girl, who I recognised from the day before. She sat awkwardly on a wooden stool. I found a chair in the corner and put my big bag down on the chair next to me. By 06:40, the other 5 girls had arrived. We talked about how nervous and scared we were. Miss Nurse walked in at 7:15. So much for "7am sharp!" I rolled my eyes at her. "Ladies, I trust you all took the pills at 4am. you should be bleeding by now. I need you to follow me to the wards. There, you will find eight beds. You will each occupy one. Change into your gowns. Keep your sanitary pads on!" Her voice was stiff and emotionless. We settled in the cold sterile room. Again, I wondered how many others had been there before me, oblivious to the pain they would soon undergo.
At 07:45 Miss Nurse came back to check on us. She explained that she'd be in the operation room right across the corridor, we would go in one by one, take off the sanitary pad and dispose of it in the bin behind her, then roll up our gowns, climb onto the bed, and prop our legs up onto the metal arms of the bed. Same stance as the one you're in when you go for a gynae check. She asked if any of us had started bleeding. I hadn't, I slowly glanced over at all the other girls. One girl put her hand up. "I'll start with you then." None of us envied her.
She bravely got up and shyly pulled her gown to cover her exposed thighs. She followed the nurse out of the ward. We all watched quietly. Moments later, the girl staggered in, holding her stomach, tears in her eyes, avoiding eye contact with any of us. She stopped at the side of her bed, pulled over the plastic covers, and gently got onto the bed. She was lying on her stomach. Wincing in pain. After a long silence, someone asked her how it was. She lifted her head and said, "I'm just glad it's finally over." Miss Nurse popped her head in. "I want you guys to keep coming in, one after the other."
One by one, the girls went in and out. Coming back in the same manner as the first girl. She had recovered by now. I was the fifth one to go in.
It looked like a crime scene. There was blood everywhere. I began to panic. I halted behind her and quietly chucked the pad into the bin. As I looked in, I saw clots of blood and what seemed like... "Miss... are we going to get on with it or not?" I quickly walked over to the bed, pulled up my dress, climbed up the two stairs, then rested myself on the hard bed. My heart was racing. I told myself to relax but my subconscious was running wild with her hands in the air, as if a fire alarm had broke out! Miss Nurse adjusted the head light onto the view of my wide spread legs. "I'm just going to clean you to prepare for the procedure. It's not going to hurt." I saw her attach two cotton swabs onto a pair of 30cm silver tongs. She dipped them into a bowl of brown liquid. I assumed that was the disinfectant. Then she shoved it into my vagina and cleaned the insides. I cringed. My thighs instinctively retracted. "No, no, no, this is not going to work if you close your legs. You need to keep them open otherwise you make it difficult for both of us!" I slowly opened them again. She pulled out the damn tongs. I starred at the ceiling. Okay, it's not that bad. It was just uncomfortable, I told myself. She sat on a stool at the edge of the bed. Then pulled out a silver tool that she slid into me and used to open me up. It was cold and hard.
I stopped looking. She put something else in. Then she rammed it up. I could feel it going up into places where metal things shouldn't venture. I t was uncomfortable, but nothing could've ever prepared me for the pain that was about to come next. All I heard was a sucking sound. The pain was immense, I tried to close my legs. "Don't be a coward!" I opened them again. The sucking noise started again. I yelled out in pain. I wanted to yell again, but I couldn't gather the strength. Tears came to my eyes. A bolt of sweat appeared on my forehead. I felt as though I was going to pass out. My insides were turning. Literally. "Please stop!!" I said, but she carried on mercilessly. It was excruciatingly unbearable. All I could manage were gasps. The tool detached things from my womb by scraping against the walls. I struggled to breathe. I wanted to yell out again, but no sound came out. It seemed like an eternity of pain. Then finally she stopped. She pulled out the tools and went about her business. I focused on the ceiling. I felt a wave of nausea come over me. I got up of the bed and weakly walked out of the horror ward and into the corridor.
I could feel the vomit welling up. I walked as quickly as my weak legs could carry me to the bathroom. I puked, then a sudden bout of diarrhea. I was sweating so much, that my dress became soaked. It took a while to regain my strength. Finally, I headed back to the ward, and dragged myself onto the cold bed. I now had cramps. 30 minutes later, Miss Nurse came in and told us we needed to get ready to leave. I hated her. I needed another hour to rest. I picked up the phone and sent my boyfriend a message. "It's over. It was so painful." Part of me wished he could've endured the pain too. It was unfair... I then thought of the life I had just ended. I wondered if it would've been a boy or a girl. Whatever it was, it was lying in the
Medical Waste bin along with the other 5 fetuses that had been violently removed from their mother's wombs.
I will never forget...
