1. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
2. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers
3. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever
4. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours
9. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth (e) when your mom dies 10. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden, However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
11. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
12. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
13.Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary
14. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours
15. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue
16. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story
17. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below: "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!" Hopefully this clears up any confusion
18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
