Sleeping with a broken heart

Okay, I've never been one to dwell on the negative but I can't take it anymore!!! I swear if people could die from a brokenheart- I would have been added to the statistics. I guess your life seems okay before a person comes along- then once they become a part of your life, it just seems incomplete without them. Now that everything I've tried so hard to hold onto has slipped out of my fingers: I feel like I have nothing. If you think I'm over exegerating, let's look at this holistically...

Family life- 95% damaged and it's going to take a LONG time to try sort this out, having one parent in a different province doesn't do much either
Church life- 100% gone since I'm not a sunday school teacher anymore, and I don't attend bible study. As for my relationship with God... I have no words.
Love life - 100% over considering I've been dumped for the 3rd time now(yes, by the same person). I think I love too hard. I need to stop that shit. The rebound list has been drawn up- but which one of them is ready for damaged goods?!
Friends - 30% still there. The ones who I can talk to are always busy and the rest? Well... I shut some of them out when I started dating *sigh*. On the other hand, I feel like I need to make some new friends, although people these days, aren't very friendly
School - I'm already regretting doing my diploma before I've even finished it, last week I went to a career fair and a lady (from a company which I will not disclose) told me to "come back when I have my honours!" I'm dreading finishing school because I'm actually scared that I won't find a (good) job!
Health - found out 3 days ago that I have an ear infection, AND my mom is on my case about loosing weight, and of course with everything happening right now: FOOD IS MY FRIEND!

I'm border line depressed. Nothing is going right in my life right now. Everyone who was important to me seems to just be phasing out slowly. Even my parents, I look at my mom sometimes and actually wish I was very far away from her. I also kind of feel like I've lost my purpose. I've thought of suicide- but then I remember that I won't go to heaven and that thought actually scares me. I wish I could channel all this negative energy into my school work, but my mind is so preoccupied. Can this year just end...


So on a lighter note ....

10 Signs you're not taking a break up well!!

1. Making excuses to call them every 5 minutes
2. There's never a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them
3. Planning 'accidental' meetings with them
4. Calling their phone hoping to get voicemail just to hear their voice
5. Photoshopping yourself into pictures with them (whether or not you show them to people doesn't matter)
6. You start talking to all his friends, to make sure you know where he is and what he's doing
7. Reading old messages and listening to voice notes
8. Putting his/her favourite songs on repeat because they remind you of all the happy times
9. Showing up at his house uninvited
10. Drinking non-stop as an aid to forget the pain

So how many of these do you think I'm guilty of? *pause for effect and hear an imaginary drumroll*
just 2! I don't think 2/10 is that bad but I won't tell you which 2!