Growing up, I witnessed my parents go through seperation and to be frank, I can't really think of a husband and wife whose relationship I've ever admired. I look at my parents, and wonder how they were ever in love- they are just completely different people, with different priorities. Did one of them wake up a completely different person one random day? Or where the signs there from the beginning and they chose to ignore them? I might never know! How does a mother end up loving her children more than the person she made them with?
Just over a year ago, my perceptions of marriage were completely different from what they are now. I didn't see the point of it all. However, being in a relationship for the past 15 months has taught me more about myself than I realized. I've had to question the principles of the things I grew up learning, but then again, modern parents don't raise their daughters in a way that will prepare us for marriage. We are taught to be strong and independent. My mother always says, "Yolanda, the only way you will make it in life- is if you have an education. A black woman without an education will be abused by men!" What they don't teach us- is where to draw the line. Not too sure what her take on that would be- she only has experience of a failed marriage. However, I don't want to make the same mistakes- I plan on having one successful marriage! All I know, is that love requires commitment, and a commitment means effort.Relationships really are what you make them- but before you point out his (or her) wrongs, be brave enough to point out yours. They might not be easy to fix, but if you really do have a partner, know that the burden is carried by four shoulders!!
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